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Shou Haruka — Sun, 11 Oct 2026 00:00:00 +0000

meow meow meow! meow? meow.

Senescence | Chapter 8: Deeper Ground

Shou Haruka — Wed, 26 Aug 2026 00:00:00 +0000

This story is set in the Human Domestication Guide (HDG) universe. It is recommended, though not necessary, to be somewhat familiar with the setting, especially given that it inherently touches on aspects of kink and other adult themes. Stories in the HDG universe, like the one below, are not suitable for readers under 18.

Chapter content warnings: none

Click here to show content</summary>
It's been a while since that's happened. I lay supine on my bed, tucked securely from the neck down. Gentle tingles and zaps ran out through by body as my mind continued to float with a faint sense of lightness. I hadn't been woozy</code> like that in a few months. Having grown accustomed to the kind of wooziness I got with them, last night's wooziness</code> caught me thoroughly unprepared. I could still feel it teasing me. Threatening to take me away just as quick if I let my mind wander even a little too far.
Whenever I was woozy</code>, there was little I could do about it aside from riding it out on my bed. It often left me with too little energy for anything meaningful. Occasionally, I found it helped to allow it to spill out in prose that expressed thoughts and feelings I never knew I could express. I would sometimes even share those feelings with friends on the overnet, though I tried my best to avoid it out of fear for how little control I had over what I would say.
As we grew closer, I began to trust Aph enough to share more and more personal things. Naturally, there came a point where it began to receive my woozy</code> messages. They tended to concern and intrigue it in equal proportions, as it saw more and more of the vulnerable ramblings I would put out. Though it often tried to speak with me and comfort me, it never seemed to make its way through to me across the overnet. But yesterday... felt different.
"Hey, Aph?"
"Yes, Shiki?"
Aph turned around from sitting at its desk, presumably occupied with more paperwork.
"Thanks for... being with me up so late last night."
"Oh, um. No problem."
I could see an awkward shuffling of foliage behind its back. A flash of colour in the leaves making up its face. Things I could never have seen lightyears away. Being able to observe its every articulation and emotion face to face was... comforting. It was unusually vulnerable of it to let me see all its unfiltered reactions, which put me at ease when I shared in its vulnerability by letting it see much of what I hid behind a screen.
"I hope I didn't make you too uncomfortable. I know we just had that agreement about not touching you without explicit permission and... well you did say to hold you but... well you weren't really in the right state of mind... and..."
...uncomfortable? I... hm. I... don't remember being uncomfortable.
"No, not at all, Aph. I needed that. Honestly, you could even have held me a little tighter to help ground me more. I was just... a bit too incapacitated to tell you to."
"I see. Sorry for... not helping much then."
"You helped me plenty. I actually managed to sleep this time, heh. What I mean is that it would also help to hold me tighter, or hold me more. Get me to feel something. Y'know?"
"Oh. But what if you're unable to explicitly ask for it like yesterday?"
Hm. That's... a fair point.
"I'm fine with it, I think. What I need when it comes to touch is getting to maintain my agency in deciding when I want to be touched. Our agreement is really just to support that by letting me know when and how you're going to touch me. I'm deciding now that I want to be touched. I'll know I may be touched when I'm woozy</code> in the future. So... that feels okay."
"Okay. How will I know for sure when you're woozy and this arrangement applies?"
I hadn't thought about that. It was surprisingly non-trivial to think of satisfactory responses to Aph's probing questions in spite of how much I'd always wanted to have these kinds of conversations. Still, it was a good thing to struggle with. Rather this than not. I'd take questions any day over grunts and whines. I rolled onto my side to face Aph, letting the conversation between us coddle me in a hug.
"I... Hm. I guess that does just shift the problem from knowing when I'm okay with it to knowing when I'm woozy</code>. But, I mean, you were able to tell that something was wrong yesterday. I feel like I can trust you enough to be able to discern when I'm woozy</code>, not that I would blame you if you got it wrong from time to time."
"Well, I'm not sure I would be comfortable with that."
Aph walked over from its desk and found a seat a respectful distance from me on the bed.
"Why so?"
"I'm not... well... I just don't like the idea of doing something you might not be comfortable with. If I feel like you might be uncomfortable with something I'm about to do, I'd rather just not do it."
"I see. That's fair. I know you don't want to make me uncomfortable and I appreciate that. Maybe I could tell you when I feel uncomfortable as soon as I'm able to? I think it might be easier for me to describe the difference if I'm feeling it in the moment."
"Yeah I... still don't think I'm very comfortable with that."
"No worries. Hm. ... ... Gah, sorry... words... hard."
"That's okay."
It seemed my brain had finally given myself back up to the fog brewing in my head since waking up. I had so much more I wanted to say. Though, now lacking in the faculties to say anything, also a simmering sense of frustration. Annoying. A pang of disappointment weighed on my stomach as I felt the conversation slip from my grasp, unresolved.
Holding my gaze as the silence grew longer, I began to drum another polyrhythm on the bed idly with my fingers. Thunk, thunk-thunk-thunk. Thunk, thunk-thunk-thunk. I was somewhat expecting Aph to say something further, and so continued to hold my taciturn stare and elected to simply drum my way through the awkwardness as usual. As a few minutes passed, however, the silent awkwardness quickly proved untenable.
"Sorry Aph, this... didn't feel that productive of a conversation."
I tried my hardest to think of a way to wrap our discussion up with a satisfactory conclusion; answers to unanswered questions, things to do, steps to take, some outline. I hated how many dangling threads lay unresolved. Yet, I didn't know myself well enough to think of anything I could say.
"That's okay too. I enjoyed learning new things about you. We can always talk more about it another time."
"Mkay."
I guess this was okay. I've said all that could be said now, anyway. I returned my focus to sinking deeper into the mattress and allowing myself to bask in the quiet stillness that soon followed. The awkwardness of the silence quickly gave way to the warmth of Aph's company across our corners of the bed, enveloping me in a deep sense of serenity.
"Could you hold me again, Aph?" </details>

Senescence | Chapter 7: New Light Shou Haruka — Sun, 16 Aug 2026 00:00:00 +0000 This story is set in the Human Domestication Guide (HDG) universe. It is recommended, though not necessary, to be somewhat familiar with the setting, especially given that it inherently touches on aspects of kink and other adult themes. Stories in the HDG universe, like the one below, are not suitable for readers under 18. Chapter content warnings: vague allusion to suicidal ideation, depiction of a psychiatric episode (still don't know what kind, sorry!) Click here to show content</summary> The digital clock ticked imaginary tocks. The waves of time crashed on a solitary rock.</code> I can't sleep. The fog in my head had returned, though much different from before. It did not evoke a sense of panic, yet the way it shifted around my mind felt nonetheless uncomfortably familiar. Not again. A piercing tone rang out in my ears and muffled all but the diegesis in my head. I looked up from my pillow, hoping to ascertain the time. The clock, struck it three; calming all, all but me. A thought: to be free, was it not meant to be?</code> I sat up in a daze, body buzzing and light. The contract and all its sub-documents sat in a neat pile on Aph's table, signed and countersigned. "Shiki? Is everything alright?" "... No." Aph appeared by the door to its room, vines messy and hanging loose by its side. "Can't sleep?" Caring show; captive's woe. Was this right? I don't know. Far removed, I alone; connections severed, superficial yet known.</code> Through the haze, faces, shared moments, and memories began to surface unprompted. At the same time, a vast, nebulous sense of emptiness. Empty yet full of jealousy and experiences never experienced. "Yeah I... My head feels a little... woozy..." Everything flicked through my head like a presentation gone rogue. Brilliant flashes of still frames blinded me as I stumbled backwards and fell onto the bed. Pulses of strong, discordant emotions crescendoed into a cacophony of noise and confusion. In my freedom I needed, and needed to be needed. I pleaded to be needed, yet never once suceeded. Conceited, I heeded and exceeded, but then was superceded. Defeated, cheated, poorly treated, I retreated, hope deleted. Fate repeated, death I greeted, yet never had it once completed.</code> Each scene played out in my head as though I were reliving the moment right then and there. As my memories whisked me away from reality again and again, I could feel reality slip out of my grasp. Sitting between my parents at the dinner table, wrestling with them in a room, eating with an Affini, laying in bed with a friend; nowhere and everywhere all at once. "My head... I can't... Aph...? Where are... where are you?" "I'm right by your side, Shiki." "I don't know... I can't..." "It's okay." "... Hold me... please." A pause. A touch. A smile crept on my face as twice a task did I embrace. Spirit warmed, my heartbeat fluttered; a word of thanks to me was uttered. Far away, I am not needed. Much despair in me was seeded.</code> A tenuous tendril took my hand, tethering me as the swirling wave of thought and emotion threatened to steal me away. Hold me tighter. The roar emanating from my skull quelled the words in my throat. I could not bring myself to say it will be fine, say you will be mine, say you will with me entwine. To be a pet; are my needs met? Or will it soon despair beget? Disappointment; I know it well. But still I find</code> it burns like hell. I need to be held more. Harder. I need to feel something. I can't feel anything. I tried to open my mouth again, to no avail. I could see Aph standing a respectful distance away. Fuck. Why was it holding my hand so gingerly? I was losing control, an old friend. I held on tight, but to what end? Soon my life did it upend. Why is it so hard to let go? Why was it so hard not to know?</code> Why was it just standing there? Do something. Please. Thoughts began to fill my mind, none of which recognisable as my own. I found myself unable to think of my own accord, merely a prisoner to my needs, desiring such unholy deeds. To have a chance to ask each ask, how could one handle such a task? A pet makes no behest; its owner does</code> the rest of my body felt barely attached to my head. The haze in my mind pervaded my limbs, dulling my nerves and making me feel like a puppet who'd lost its strings. I furled my vines tighter against my chest, wrapping myself in a hug. I didn't know what to do. Shiki seemed so... distressed. It hurt to see my friend like this. I wanted to help. I needed to help. But I couldn't. We had literally just signed a formal agreement that I would not touch or approach her without explicit consent; I couldn't break that agreement now. I was somewhat aware of her struggles from what she had shared with me online. I had always lent her a listening ear, doing my best to help her in times of need, but my help was often measured and restrained. I cared too much for her as a friend to risk going too far. Just the thought of making her uncomfortable or stepping too far into her personal space made my leaves wither. Feeling her grip tighten around the singular tendril I had offered caused my worry to burgeon. She had only asked me to hold her; what else could I do? Wasn't the whole point of this to let me help her more? Yet, I found myself unable to do anything. I wanted to hug her, to comfort her, to be here with her; yet here I was, as useless as I was when we were apart. It was technically well within my purview to administer some Class-E xenodrugs. Nonetheless, I found myself unable to be convinced that this constituted "untoward danger". I knew from past conversations that Shiki's "woozy" episodes were mostly transient, though she often had trouble describing what they were exactly after the fact. It seemed to put her in an uncomfortable stupor that lasted no longer than a few hours, so I knew it was at least possible to safely wait it out. Still, the idea that I had to let her suffer any longer than she needed to sickened me to my core. Especially when I knew that there was more that I could do. There was always more I could do. More time I could have spent. More care I could have given. More regrets I'll have later, just standing here and watching her. I watched as Shiki curled up tighter, wrapping the tendril she held snugly around her palm. I could feel her mind wander, battered and thrown about by whatever was going on inside. The blood in her hand pulsed against my vine, settling into a steady pace as her breathing slowed. The muscles in her face relaxed as the tension dropped from the rest of her body. Carefully, I pulled the covers over her body and loosed her hand from my grasp. "Goodnight, Shiki." I'm sorry. </details> Senescence | Chapter 6: Left, Leaving, Leave, Leaves Shou Haruka — Wed, 12 Aug 2026 00:00:00 +0000 This story is set in the Human Domestication Guide (HDG) universe. It is recommended, though not necessary, to be somewhat familiar with the setting, especially given that it inherently touches on aspects of kink and other adult themes. Stories in the HDG universe, like the one below, are not suitable for readers under 18. Chapter content warnings: depiction of crying Click here to show content</summary> "Aph?" I stood by the door to the hab, slightly befuddled by its refusal to open. I had been staying in the hab since my arrival and had grown acutely aware of the locked door over the past few days. I was locked in. Like a pet. At first, I paid it no heed and contented myself with exploring the sizeably-larger hab I was in. True to its word, Aph never left the hab without informing me first. Yet, each click of the lock behind its back made my circumstances ever more apparent and harder to ignore. "Are you... domesticating me?" "I am." I felt an anxious tug at the back of my head. A thought began to form, but quickly dissipated after a brief pause. "I thought you said you weren't going to?" "Honestly, I hadn't planned to. But, seeing the severity of your attacks in person forced me to re-evaluate my proposed course of action. I couldn't in good conscience just leave you somewhere else on your own. That's... the bulk of all this paperwork, actually." I looked towards the mountains of folders and papers Aph was gesturing at. Incomprehensible glyphs cluttered each page, with what I could only assume to be the Affini's signature bureaucratic self-flagellation. Another tug. Some part of me felt guilty for putting all this work on Aph's already-burdened shoulders. "I was doing just fine, though. You could have just left me there and I'd have been fine." "We couldn't take that risk." "I just... don't want to be domesticated." "Do you want to talk about it?" "No, it's okay. I won't disturb you from your work." "No, Shiki. My paperwork does not take priority over you. Like I said, you are my work, anyway. If that's what you're really worried about." "I can handle myself just fine, Aph." Aph had taken to caring for me rather aggressively, making sure I was brushing my teeth as regularly as I should and bringing me actual food to eat. I wanted to enjoy it, but it didn't feel right. It felt foolish to settle in and let myself be doted on when I knew a slip of the tongue or a gross misunderstanding could take it all away. I was fine on my own. "No, no. I'm not having that." "What-" "You are going to tell me, or I'll ban you from working on your paper for a week." "NO! YOU WOULDN'T!" "Oh, but I would." I let out a soft grumble. Aph's idiosyncratic modes of punishment were more effective at getting me to do things than I'd like to admit. My little quirks and pet peeves it had picked up over the years did well to serve as actionable threats that did not infringe on its promises. "Okay, okay, I'll talk about it!" "Good. Why don't you want to be domesticated? Is there something about the process that scares you? I can walk you through it." "Not really. I would enjoy most of the process, to be honest. It's just..." I paused, giving Aph a furtive glance. My arms folded across my chest, hugging my knees as I balled up on the bed. A third tug. I couldn't fathom why it was so interested in processing every little thing with me. There was nothing to be gained from this. It had no stakes in my personal well-being. It didn't need to know any of this. Aph halted my breath with a look, hovering a vine over my tablet. "OKAY! I just feel... conflicted. I don't really know what you're trying to get out of this, or what you want from me." I looked up, expecting a retort of some kind, but none came. "I'm scared. I'm scared that maybe you're just doing this to get something out of me and you'll leave. I'm scared that even if you aren't, I'll fuck it up somehow and you'll leave anyway. I'll say something wrong; I'll piss you off; I'll do something I wasn't supposed to- I... I don't fucking know. I'm scared." "Thank you for telling me, Shiki." "Oh- um. No problem...?" "I'm not... sure how reassuring this will be to hear, but Affini culture is really nothing like what you've come to know. I mentioned some differences back at the diner, if you remember." I nodded. Despite only happening a few days ago, I found my recollection of the events then to be spotty, like a poorly-cut video. As per usual. I could indeed remember the conversation, but bringing it to the front of my mind demanded an unusual amount of effort. "We truly don't do this to get anything out of anyone. I just care about you. We've been friends for some time now, and I've long since cared about you as a friend. It's not any different. To me, at least." "I want to believe you. I really do. It's just..." I hugged my legs tighter. "I..." Once again, no retort or interjection came. The silence my solemn aposiopesis left filled the space we shared and enveloped me in a tight hug. A fourth tug came, stronger; a yank. My diaphragm spasmed, forcing a choked breath through my teeth. I thought about blurting out a string of words to get a word in edgewise, but the continued silence soon assuaged that thought. Stifled, sharp breaths punctuated the stillness in the air. An unbecoming moistness filled the ducts in my eye as I tilted my head up to stop my emotions from spilling over. "I can't just take you at your word. I'm sorry. You're asking me to trust you; to trust that you mean nothing but the best for me. I'm not going to just believe that you're going to be the first one that's going to care for me that way. I wouldn't even know what that's supposed to feel like." I could only hold them back for so long. "And even if I do, there's just no reason for you to keep caring about me or caring for me. I can't offer you anything, Aph. I can't even... I suck at making others happy. I can't even do that for you. I don't know what I should be doing. I don't know what I can do. I don't know what you want me to do. I'm... you're... you're just going to waste your time, Aph." I buried my head between my knees, trying to hide the ugly hiccups, shuddering breaths, and the wetness pouring onto my thighs. The words that managed to leave my lips surprised me somewhat. I hadn't been able to express all the things I was thinking about with anyone before. Though, I figured that was supposed to feel good. "I understand, Shiki. You don't have to trust me right now; you deserve to be able to take your time. I won't ask you to trust me. I want to work with you to build that trust together." Aph dug around its stack of papers and pulled out a few sheets of paper. "Can I sit with you?" I nodded, feeling the surface of the bed dip as it sat next to me. "Would it help you to know exactly what I want from you? Or to know exactly what you're supposed to do? I do promise that I'll always try my best to be upfront and open about communicating those kinds of things with you, but I know that's not really what you need from me right now. So... I've also prepared this for you." It placed the sheets of paper next to me, far enough to not get wet from my tears. I took a glance at the top page: Domestication Contract</h2> By signing this contract, you, Shiki Tvira, acknowledge all of the following: Vinca Eros, Seventh Bloom is hereafter your Caretaker and owner.</li> You do not have political rights in the Affini Compact.</li> You have a guarantee of your wellbeing. Your Caretaker commits to act solely in your best interests for your safety, wellbeing, and care.</li> Your Caretaker may add, delete, or otherwise amend the terms herein with regard to your wardship, subject to further notice.</li> Your full name is henceforth Shiki Eros, Fourth Floret.</li> </ol> You also agree to all of the following stipulations set by your Caretaker, for which you acknowledge that non-compliance may result in corrective measures being taken against you: Unless explicitly permitted, you shall not intentionally render any degree of physical harm to your Caretaker or yourself.</li> You are henceforth disallowed from insulting yourself in any capacity.</li> You shall not withhold any discomfort, dissatisfaction, disagreements, or previously unestablished needs from your Caretaker. You shall make them known upon request.</li> You may, however, express that you wish to raise any of the aforementioned concerns at a time no later than seven (7) days after the date of request.</li></ol> You shall make known any personal boundaries being crossed immediately.</li> Barring approval from your Caretaker, you shall:</li> eat at least two (2) full meals a day,</li> brush your teeth at least once a day, and</li> shower at least once a day.</li></ol></ol> Lastly, you acknowledge the following stipulations your Caretaker has agreed to abide by: Your Caretaker will not approach or make physical contact with you without explicit consent.</li> Your Caretaker will not use xenodrugs of any kind on you, unless necessary to prevent untoward danger to yourself or others or by request.</li> Your Caretaker will not force you, physically or by placing you under duress, to go anywhere without explicit consent, unless your presence is required for medical or official reasons.</li> Your Caretaker will not leave your presence without prior notice.</li> Your Caretaker will not shout, or otherwise raise its voice at you.</li> </ol> </blockquote> "To be clear, I am not saying that you have to abide by these rules in order for me to continue caring for you. My care for you is unconditional and will not be revoked under any circumstance, no matter how hard to believe that may seem. I just hope it helps with feeling that you are deserving of my care and feeling assured that I will continue to care for you. "I understand that signing this contract is a big step and demands a lot of trust from you. It does make explicit that there will be some exchange of power between us, which I hope might ease you into trusting me more in the future. You can take your time with it and let me know whenever you're comfortable, or if you would like to make any revisions to it." "No. I'll sign it." I slid off the bed, finding a pen on Aph's desk. "... Thank you, Aph." </details> Senescence | Chapter 5: Through the Skin Shou Haruka — Tue, 04 Aug 2026 00:00:00 +0000 This story is set in the Human Domestication Guide (HDG) universe. It is recommended, though not necessary, to be somewhat familiar with the setting, especially given that it inherently touches on aspects of kink and other adult themes. Stories in the HDG universe, like the one below, are not suitable for readers under 18. Chapter content warnings: bondage, implied kidnapping, victim self-blaming/guilt, depiction of a psychiatric episode (I honestly couldn't tell you what kind), depiction of impaired memory, depiction of dissociation from sexual trauma Click here to show content</summary> My eyes opened. I was in a dimly-lit room; a hab, likely. I could feel my limbs tethered to each corner of a bed. A glass wall stood to the right of the bed I was on. Outside, a massive expanse. An Affini ship. Space whizzed past its outer dome in a blur. I saw Aph sitting on a chair from the corner of my eye, watching me. Surveilling me. Keeping me pinned down with its eyes. It had taken me onto the ship, I surmised. Knocked me out. Forced me to leave when I didn't want to. Was it ever really my friend? Had it been planning this all along? It probably just wanted to use me. Of course. This was my fault. I trusted it just like I trusted them. It's always my fault. Pathetic. Where was I? My head spun, pulsing and throbbing against my skull. I felt myself suspended in thick air that electrified my entire being and seeped into my head. Trying to recollect what had happened felt like trudging through a dense marsh that filled my mind with static. An admonishing wave of dizziness shook the air and sent me lurching. I begged my body to get up and look around, but my limbs lay still and ignored my desperate tugs. I could vaguely feel that my body was resting on... something. Something soft. I could barely make my surroundings out to be a dark room, which somehow fit within my peripheral vision in its entirety. I couldn't move my eyes, yet the spot my eyes were looking at refused to come into focus. The more I tried to get my bearings, the blurrier my vision got. Blurrier and blurrier, until I felt the suffocating fog around me rise above my head. "Shiki." I sat up. The vines tying my wrists and ankles to the bed had enough slack now to allow me some degree of movement. I could escape. I could try. Aph had risen from its seat and stood looming over my bound body. I was helpless. I was ripe for the taking. I was vulnerable. Maybe I wanted this. That's the only reason I allowed this to happen after all. I needed this to happen. Maybe I just needed to lie here and take it. It would all end soon enough. "Would you like to talk?" It sounded hurt. By me, probably. "Go fuck yourself." Its face contorted and cast a smile on my face. Fucker. I tried to kick it, but the vines grew taut again. I snapped back sprawled onto the bed, freedom revoked. I didn't bother struggling, didn't bother tugging at my restraints. I wasn't going to entertain it with the sight of me writhing defencelessly. It was probably hoping I would. "Okay, I'll be here if you need me." I could hear a pair of voices speaking to me through the viscous air clouding my ears. The words were barely comprehensible, though I could tell one of them was mine. The other felt familiar; vivid, brilliantly-lit scenes flashed in front of me like a diorama. Aph? What was- Oh. The scene from earlier this morning played out before me, recounted to me as though someone was walking me through it blow by blow. The scene pushed the haze back for a moment. The feeling it left in my head was recognisable. I was just lucid enough to remember the last time I had felt it just as strong. It was the first time they had forced themselves onto me. I resisted at first, but after a while, I began to zone out and stopped processing what was happening to me. Since then, each moment I shared with them was more of the same. Each memory buried somewhere deep inside me and occasionally resurfacing from time to time through thoughts I don't remember thinking. Recollections of the sensation I had felt then began to trickle into me. I remembered feeling myself lose control of my body and slip into a cocoon of darkness. I remembered the way the unspeakable events that followed were projected onto a silken screen at the front of my mind. I remembered turning my gaze when I watched them mount me. Just like it was going to do to me now. "DON'T COME NEAR ME." "I won't. Do you want me to leave?" "I... No." "Okay." Aph sat back down on its chair. At least it wasn't doing anything to me. Yet. The air grew still, unperturbed by any noise. I lay on the bed and pressed my head onto the soft pillow under it. The silence began to itch. The sound of my heart pounding rattled my eardrums. The noises of my breathing started to tick me off. Why wasn't it doing anything? It's just watching me. "Are you going to do something to me?" "Not particularly." "...Why?" "You don't feel safe with me." "I don't." "Is there anything I can do to change that?" I didn't expect it to ask that. What did it expect me to say? What was it trying to get out of me? Was it trying to lure me into a false sense of security? Was there some answer it was expecting? I'd never had to think of a response for this. What would I even say to appease such a query? It noticed my hesitation. Shit. Fuck. Say something. Anything, dammit. "I can list some things and you can tell me if you think any of them would help. Would you like that?" Oh. "Okay." "I can loosen your restraints if your promise not to try and kick me again." "Sure. I promise." The tension in the vines disappeared as I finished speaking. Oh. That was... fast. I should run. I could run. I never promised I wouldn't run. Oh. Why hadn't it made me promise not to run? That... felt like a gross oversight. No, the vines were still there, just looser. ... I could punch it though. "I won't come near or touch you without asking, other than your restraints for now." "Can you lose the restraints?" "I will. I just want to have this conversation first before I do." "Fine." "I won't use any xenodrugs on you, unless you become a danger to yourself or others." "You drugged me to get me on this ship." "I did." "Why?" "I was sent here to take you from your planet. You wouldn't have gotten on otherwise." "I thought you were there for work." "I was. You were the work." "Oh... Why?" "... Matters regarding the transition of your planet into Affini control is my work. When I found out about how a local had been so severely mistreated by its residents and society, I filed a recommendation for you to be transferred to somewhere deeper into Affini space." "From our online chats?" "Yes. It just happened that my supervisor figured I would be the best one to take you, given how we already knew each other." "I don't want you to do that again." "I won't. Anything else you don't want me to do?" "Don't leave me alone without telling me first." "Does that include me going into another room?" "Yes. And don't... raise your voice at me." "I won't." "I... can't think of anything else." "That's okay. You did well." This was... unexpected. They weren't this receptive. I wasn't sure what to make of Aph just yet. It was probably just trying to game me somehow, even though the agreements we reached seemed reasonable. I'm sure of it. Aph turned from facing me and grabbed a box from atop a table. I could make out a set of bracelet-looking things resting in it. Ah, there it was. This is how it would use me. I knew it. "Shiki, would you be comfortable with me putting these on you? I can take your restraints off after. They're just for your safety. For transparency, they let me track your location, see your vitals, and allow me to administer xenodrugs remotely. Though I won't be doing that unless you become a danger to yourself or others, like I promised." "What will the xenodrugs do to me?" "If administered, it will help calm you down, sort of like the endorphins your body naturally produces. It'll also cause your muscles to relax and put you to sleep." "... Fine." Aph approached me slowly. I shuddered slightly as it touched my arm and clasped the bracelet around my wrist. I was probably going to regret allowing it to do this. Though, it seemed like my only option if I wanted out of these restraints. I stared intently as it put the other three bracelets around my other wrist and ankles. The vines holding me retreated just as the last bracelet locked into place. "How are they?" "Alright." "Would you like to see the rest of the hab?" "I think... I think I'll just stay here for a while." </details> Senescence | Chapter 4: Breaking Ground Shou Haruka — Fri, 31 Jul 2026 00:00:00 +0000 This story is set in the Human Domestication Guide (HDG) universe. It is recommended, though not necessary, to be somewhat familiar with the setting, especially given that it inherently touches on aspects of kink and other adult themes. Stories in the HDG universe, like the one below, are not suitable for readers under 18. Chapter content warnings: toxic relationships with parents, oppressive culture, guilt tripping, non-con Click here to show content</summary> "So, what have you been up to?" Aph broke the silence with a question. "I've been working on my paper, mostly. Been really distracted from it though." Yeah, because I've been dragged out of the house by them every day. I saw Aph's lips move as though it was about to probe further, but it quickly pursed its lips. I peered into its eyes, trying to piece together where the conversation was going. "Have you given any thought to my... suggestion?" Right. "Well, you did give me 10 seconds to think it over." "Did you think it over?" "Not productively. I'm still not... sure." I sliced at my steak awkwardly, smearing a blotch of sauce on my lips as I stuffed a piece of it in my mouth. Holding my gaze down, I snatched a sheet of tissue paper from a holder and wiped it off. Stars, was I horrible at holding these kinds of conversations. I stuck my fork into thin air, marking the end of my convenient conversational pauses. "I still feel like I should at least be on the same planet as my parents. I don't like the idea of just leaving them here to die. And my ex... I..." "It's okay, we don't have to talk about them right now." It was somewhat embarrassing to have my discomfort so easily read. Though, I was grateful for it. I didn't feel ready to have to think about them again just yet. I could already feel a well of emotions springing forth from deep within. A quick sip of some iced tea did well to quench it. "Why do you feel obligated to stay with your parents? I know it's been a big part of your culture for a while but... I'm not sure I see the reason for it." "It's just... I feel guilty. I don't want to hurt them. I know how much being alone hurts and I don't want to subject them to it. And... they did raise me and care for me. So I feel... kinda indebted." Aph sighed. "I never understood this about your society. Not when I was studying them years ago and not now. Where exactly is the so-called virtue in treating another life as your retirement plan? Why does your society call it moral to treat care as a bargaining chip, or a piece of blackmail? It feels like such a shallow meaning of life to owe your life to someone just so you can propagate the cycle once more. It feels so transactional. So contractual. So... corporate. "Is the joy of caring for another not pleasant enough to behold? Is the privilege of having another in your charge not a joy of its own? Why is it something that needs to be repaid? Frost, it's not even like your standard of care was that good, either. By Affini standards, what your society calls 'care' is what we call 'negligence'. In fact, the kind of care you received would probably have broken a trillion laws alone. "That's not to say we don't understand the grief of letting go of another in your care. Compared to us, the lives of most other xenophonts are transient. I've known some Affini who'd taken blooms to get over the loss of their pet. But this grief comes because of the bond we form over our term of care. It comes because we wish we could keep caring for them but are no longer able to. It comes because we wish we could care more, because maybe we could have cared better. It comes because-" Aph paused. Its teal eyes grew hazy, lost in a Cimmerian cloud of thought. I could feel an uncomfortable knot growing in the air between us, as though our breaths had stumbled into one another and gotten tangled. Its vines curled tightly around the legs of its chair. We shared a long breath before it spoke again. "We don't grieve because we don't get anything in return. We wouldn't demand that our pets care for us." "To be fair, we've never had such an abundance of resources as the Compact does. And at the end of our lifespans, we do grow aged and less capable. It's sort of... a survival mechanism." "Yes, and that's such a pity. Such a pity that we came all the way from our galaxy to yours to free you all from it. It's even more of a pity that despite all that, you seem to be dead-set on holding on to your futile traditions and beliefs that have long ceased to serve their original purpose. "It's a pity to see how you were cared for so poorly. It's a pity to learn how you've had to suffer so much. It would be such a tremendous pity to see you force yourself to suffer for the sake of suffering. I just want to give you a chance to be free from it all. That's why we're here after all. "I could care for you so much better." What? "Wait. I thought you said you weren't going to domesticate me." "Well, I'm just here to offer you a way out, mostly. I just feel like you could also do with... a bit of extra help." "I'm not that broken." I chuckled at the thought. Though, I couldn't help but admit that at least some part of it did feel appealing. Being made aware of the great world beyond mine also made me aware to just how little care I had received. I had become friends with many florets online and heard all about their experiences. About how they were accepted, how they were cherished, and how they were supported. It did feel like something I could use. I remember thinking about how nice it would be to finally experience something like that. How freeing it would be to finally be myself and to love it. How I wouldn't have to fight the world for the right to be happy. The joy of being with another being who wants nothing but my happiness. It felt unattainable. I dreamt of it, but at the same time, it reminded me of them. They had seemed like such a caring individual. Someone who truly accepted me and wanted me to be happy; someone I could trust. I felt as though I had finally found someone I could be myself with. I became comfortable exploring myself with them. But they lied. Once they ensnared me in their lies, they began to exploit me. Twisting my fears of hurting others and the guilt I wore on my shoulders, they forced me to do things I never wanted to do. I was desperate then, and I was desperate now. Who's to say I wouldn't make the same mistake twice? I couldn't trust anyone. No matter how good it seemed, I could not go. Better the devil I know than the devil I don't. I won't fall for the same tricks again. It was probably going to pretend to care for me like they did and then toss me to the ground again. I had to stay. I was going to stay for my parents, for them, and for me. I wanted to stay. I had to tell them no. I opened my mouth- Wait, what's happening? <Aphrodeeziac> she said no </code></pre> Why can't I say anything? <IvyStele> do what you have to </code></pre> Did my arm always look that way? <Aphrodeeziac> i did </code></pre> Why can't I move my legs? <IveStele> are you okay? </code></pre> Why can't I see anything? <Aphrodeeziac> no. </code></pre> Why am I- "Sorry, Shiki." What? "I was hoping you'd make this easy for me." Of course. "I'll explain everything. I promise." Fuck you. </details> Senescence | Chapter 3: Taking Root Shou Haruka — Tue, 28 Jul 2026 00:00:00 +0000 This story is set in the Human Domestication Guide (HDG) universe. It is recommended, though not necessary, to be somewhat familiar with the setting, especially given that it inherently touches on aspects of kink and other adult themes. Stories in the HDG universe, like the one below, are not suitable for readers under 18. Chapter content warnings: toxic relationships, psychological manipulation using threats of suicide, coersion, victim self-blaming, light bondage, depiction of a PTSD episode Click here to show content</summary> The next I opened my eyes, the windows in my hab had been made transparent again. The gentle glow of the sunrise had been subsumed by the brilliance of our star at its zenith. Streaks of sunlight painted my face a curious shade of warm. Adjusting to the light, my eyes settled on the ten-foot figure curled up on my floor. "Appie?" A pair of opalescent teal eyes flickered to life. I watched as the Gordian mess of vines slowly unravelled itself and reformed into a vaguely coherent silhouette. Verdant tendrils and luscious green stems wound themselves around a shimmering core, rising slowly to lock gazes with my unkempt body. "Hmpf. Good to know you're back to making fun of my name." "I'll have you know, if you'd found me 2700 years ago, you wouldn't be complaining." "Yes, yes. Ancient Greek. I hated that class." "Okay, pee-lologist." "Why you-" An ungraceful chuckle escaped my lips. I could see its tendrils coil tightly at the sound of my historically-accurate bastardisation of its profession. I stuck out my leg and prodded it with my foot, letting out an infantile giggle. Its corporeal form felt soft and supple, and its vines gave a turgid bounce when I pressed them gently. "Hey- What're you-" "Forgive a girl for wanting to know what her friend feels like." It was great to put a name to a face, I suppose. Years of only ever chatting online and seeing each other through a text interface did make me somewhat curious as to how it looked. I had never expected it to show up at my house. Knowing the vast spread of settlements across the galaxy, I had consigned myself to never meeting any of my online friends and contented myself with just our online correspondences. Buzz. Instinctively, I vaulted off the bed and picked up my tablet. Oh. <BuzzK1ll3r> come over at 1. ill be at khizris hab. <BuzzK1ll3r> feel like killing myself again <BuzzK1ll3r> need you to distract me <3 you know how </code></pre> Aph stuck out a vine and snatched the tablet from my hands, putting it back on the table. I hadn't even noticed it standing behind me and snooping over my shoulder. Turning quickly, it stepped between me and my table and blocked my tablet from view. It saw everything. It knows how much of a slut I am. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. "Let's go eat! We have so much to catch up on!" "But-" The excuse I was coming up with was quickly torn from my mouth by an unceremonious shove out the door. I tried to turn back and grab my tablet, but several vines shot out to bind my arms behind my back and walk me out into the hallway. How embarrassing. A soft whine slipped as I caught the attention of every passer-by. Another Affini from across the street looked at Aph and gave a knowing smile. Arriving at a restaurant a few blocks south, Aph gently sat me down on a chair and left a vine around my waist, fixing me to the chair. My querulous wriggles and desperate attempts to leave my seat quickly drew a series of chuckles and stares as Aph stood by the counter ordering food. I need to get back. I couldn't leave them like that. I couldn't hurt them. I clawed at its vines, trying to loosen its grip and slip out from underneath. Just as I had managed to find a bit of slack, another pair of vines wrapped around my wrists and pinned them to the sides of the chair. More eyes looked at me, some curious, some humoured. Realising the futility of my struggles, I sank into my chair and relinquished control to the vines, waiting for Aph's return. Feeling a vine pat me on the head reassuringly, I took the time to look around the restaurant Aph had brought me to. A pre-Compact diner that had used to pay its staff pennies, now staffed by an Affini and its two florets. They buzzed with more life than the underpaid eighteen- and nineteen-year-olds I was used to seeing. Sizzling steaks and throwing together cocktails with a beaming smile. Chattering animatedly with one another and the patrons in the store. "Cute, aren't they?" The sound of Aph's return snapped my attention back to my seat like a rubber band with a jolt. I hadn't heard it return, let alone notice the vines no longer around my waist and wrists. I could run. Its soft vines absorbed the sound of each step it took, with only the soft squeaking of a chair as it sat down. I shot Aph a nettled stare as it sat the tray down in front of me. "Now now. Don't be like that. It's for your own good." A sharp pain shot through my head. The sounds around me grew muffled and dull, eclipsed by a sharp ringing in my ears. I could hear their voice. They were here. It's because I left them. I looked around frantically, scanning every face and every figure in the store. I shot up from my seat, fist balled and ready to dash. "Shiki? Are you okay? Was it what I said? It's okay. You're okay." Who was that? Was that them? "Shiki, it's me, Aph. Can you look at me?" I turned my head towards the voice, watching as a vine-clad figure stepped through the foggy haze surrounding my vision. Aph looked at me intently, observing the way my chest rose and fell. I looked back into its eyes, noticing the vines and leaves forming its face press tighter against its body. "Breathe with me, Shiki. Can you do that for me? In, two, three four. Hold, two three four. Out, two, three four. Hold, two three four." Locking eyes with Aph, I let my breathing fall into the cadence of its voice, counting together with it in my head. I felt the cold air in the restaurant flow over my tongue and into my lungs. I felt the gentle bubbling of carbon dioxide in my blood build and release. The blood slowly returned to my arms and legs as I focused on the rhythm of my breaths and keeping each breath steady. "What else do you see? Can you name four other things?" "A... steak..., a red... a red cup, striped wallpaper, and... a dusty window..." I felt my words tugging at each item I named, pulling them across the same hazy boundary. Recalling the words for each one of them felt like probing into a distant memory. Everything else still felt clouded by a miasma of my thoughts, though I sensed a gentle breeze shifting the air in the room just enough to envision rough outlines of the things around me. "Can you feel the soles of your feet pressed against the ground? The way the pressure on your heel shifts together with your body, the way your toes lie against your insoles... What else can you feel?" "The chair against the back of my leg, the tingling around my waist from where... from where you held me, and... air from the vent blowing at me." "You're doing so well. Listen to my voice. What else can you hear?" Its voice sounded within my head, cutting through the dense mist clouding the air. "I can hear oil sizzling on a grill and... a ship flying past." "Good job! Can you tell me two things you can smell?" "I can smell the steak on my plate and... rosemary." "Can you open your mouth for me? I'm going to feed you some food. Tell me what you can taste." The world around me grew quieter. I opened my mouth and felt a warm, crispy, strip of something rest on my tongue. I could taste the grains of salt, the subtle umami of soy seasoning, and the delectable crunch of a fry as I bit down on it. "I taste... a french fry?" I sat back down, relishing its taste. I felt the tension in my body dissipate as my vision became clear again. Aph looked at me sweetly amidst the soft chattering of the other patrons in the background. The muscles in my body let go of their deathly grip on my bones as I took a deep breath. I was safe. "You did such a good job. Are you feeling better?" "Yeah." "Sorry Shiki, I won't say that again." "It's alright, you didn't know." I smiled. "Thank you, Aph." </details> Senescence | Chapter 2: Imbibition Shou Haruka — Sun, 26 Jul 2026 00:00:00 +0000 This story is set in the Human Domestication Guide (HDG) universe. It is recommended, though not necessary, to be somewhat familiar with the setting, especially given that it inherently touches on aspects of kink and other adult themes. Stories in the HDG universe, like the one below, are not suitable for readers under 18. Chapter content warnings: victim self-blaming/guilt, depiction of a panic attack, depiction of traumatic responses to sexual abuse, mention of being disowned Click here to show content</summary> <Aphrodeeziac> ill be stopping by your planet soon <Aphrodeeziac> higher ups need someplant on the ground for. reasons. <Aphrodeeziac> and tbh, it really sounds like you could use a way out of there </code></pre> Aph. Also known as Vinca Eros, Seventh Bloom, it/its. I had met Aph two years ago, some time after getting on the overnet. I had been prowling around different servers and groups, fascinated by the great plurality of experiences waiting to be had. I found Aph in one of the groups I had joined; a haphazard collocation of critters sharing a vague interest in philosophy. A trio of terran pinnates with a special interest in bioethics, in a polycule that they were probably to shy to define; a Khetari ex-epistemology professor with a prolific body of work; a terran girl who geeked out about the Terran history of communism every other day; and Aph, an affini expert on Terran philology, sociology, and value theory. Aph's work was particularly helpful to the Affini Compact in dismantling the Accord's capitalist fascist empire. Purely by coincidence, it was part of the council that oversaw the dismantling of my local government and was intimately familiar with my situation. It had taken a particular interest in how the old government had managed to ingrain such an oppressive culture across the whole planet, and we quickly grew close as it listened to more and more of my rants. But not that close. <4kilosopher> wait what huh whuh <Aphrodeeziac> what what? <4kilosopher> uhm its just that uhm yknow <Aphrodeeziac> what, afraid the big scary plampt is gonna _domesticate_ you? ... <Aphrodeeziac> stars. you are <Aphrodeeziac> i wont i swear <Aphrodeeziac> we'll just be roommates <4kilosopher> i'll think about it <Aphrodeeziac> think faster. im reaching in ten. <4kilosopher> i cant- <Aphrodeeziac> nine. <4kilosopher> WHAT <Aphrodeeziac> eight. <4kilosopher> SECONDS? <Aphrodeeziac> seven. </code></pre> It was coming here?! I barely knew what it looked like. Does it know what I looked like? Was it going to find me? Was I supposed to find it? Oh fuck, I look like a mess. The thought of my friend from across the stars suddenly showing up on my doorstep instantly scattered any semblance of coherent thought in my feeble Terran brain. I mean, it knew I didn't really feel comfortable doing anything with anyone. Soon after I began feeling more and more uncomfortable with the things they were doing, I stopped wanting to do anything like that with anyone ever again. I stopped acting the way I did to rouse flirtatious lines and lascivious teasing from others. I told everyone I didn't want for anyone to touch me. For anyone to even speak about touching me. Surely I could trust it to know to respect my boundaries. Like them? Or not. I couldn't deny that some part of me was curious to know if everything I had seen about florets and the domestication process were true. Being touched by them only made my yearnings for a being to care for me tenderly so much stronger. I wanted a gentle caress, a chance to let go- I want it. Yet the thought of it made my mind sick. And what was I supposed to tell my parents? Not that we kept in much contact over the years since they kicked me out. Something about just waltzing out the front door made me feel so guilty and ashamed. They had abandoned me, but did that truly mean I was free to abandon them in turn? I owed a duty of care to them. They had always spoken about how they hoped I would care for them in old age and spared no effort in reminding me of all they had done for me. I hurt them. I certainly didn't want to hurt them any further. And what about them? Could I just leave? I was the one that thrust myself into their hands. I looked for them. I let them take me. I didn't deserve to leave. Every time I ducked their gaze, every time I dodged a conversation, I knew how disappointed I made them. I fucked them. I was still their joy-friend after all. Their not-quite-female, technically-non-binary, technically-not-a-girlfriend partner. Too many thoughts. Too many thoughts. Too many thoughts. I couldn't focus. Had it been ten seconds already? Something forced me to my knees. Were they in my house? A sharp tingling in my extremities subsumed my proprioception in a dizzying flurry of jolts and numbness. I raised my arms, trying to grasp at something. Why did I do that? Was I falling? Ow. I was. Suddenly, the bell to my door sounded with a soft buzz. Oh no. Was that them? I heard the muffled shuffling of feet through the thick, clammy air that suffused my nose and ears. The shifting of weight felt unfamiliar. The pause between hesitant steps, the echo of limbs on hard flooring that reverberated differently inside my head—that wasn't them. Who was that? "One, zer- oh." Aph? I felt a pair of something hoist me from the ground and set me on my bed. "No! Don't touch me!" The two arm-like appendages immediately retracted. I felt my breath ball up in my throat, my arms and legs curling up into a ball. My chest rose and fell erratically, causing my shoulders to shudder as air was forced out of my lungs by my diaphragm. It's looking at me. It's looking at me. Stop looking at me. Leave me alone. The lights around me dimmed as the windows of my hab slowly turned opaque. The room echoed with the clink of a glass and the gushing of water spilling into a cup. Cold, I hope. The darkness washed over me like a soft blanket, warming the chills on my feet and palms. I took in a deep breath to suck in the cool air from the space graciously given around me. A soft thunk of glass on wood, and the sounds around me congealed into a silent cacophony ringing in my head. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. I rapped my knuckles impulsively against the wall I had turned to face, each knock punctuating another deep breath. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Nothing was happening to me. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Nothing was happening to me. I thought about sitting up to face what I presumed to be Aph, but the allure of the cooling darkness wrapped around my limbs and made them weak. I felt a line form on my cracked lips, dried from the laboured breaths passing over it. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. The bed was comfortable. I was comfortable. I continued lying on the bed for a while longer, my left foot beginning to accompany my hands' percussive rhythm in a calming hemiola. I tapped my hands a little faster, and I felt the beats fall into a 4:3 polyrhythm. A little faster still, and a 5:4 polyrhythm emerged. Hmm. That's a pretty good polyrhythm. Thunk. Tha-thunk thunk, thunk thunk tha-thunk. Thunk. Tha-thunk thunk, thunk thunk tha-thunk. I'm. Look-ing for, a house to-buy. Waves of calmness resonated across the four walls of my room with each beat. I leaned my forehead against the wall, letting it share in its vibrations. I felt it travel through my spine, through the fibres in my body innervating my arms and legs. With every measure, it nipped at the tension in my body, letting it sink deeper into the cushion of my bed. What was I thinking about again? Thunk. Tha-thunk thunk, thunk thunk tha-thunk. The rhythm lulled my eyes shut, letting the peaceful serenity of sleep greet me once again. </details> Senescence | Chapter 1: A Seed is Sown Shou Haruka — Sat, 25 Jul 2026 00:00:00 +0000 This story is set in the Human Domestication Guide (HDG) universe. It is recommended, though not necessary, to be somewhat familiar with the setting, especially given that it inherently touches on aspects of kink and other adult themes. Stories in the HDG universe, like the one below, are not suitable for readers under 18. Chapter content warnings: non-con, sexual abuse, abuse in public, psychological manipulation, toxic relationships, victim self-blaming/guilt, mild depictions of sexual acts, depiction of a panic attack, systemic oppression, mention of being disowned, depiction of hypersexual responses to trauma, manipulation / victim blaming due to hypersexuality Click here to show content</summary> An awkward chuckle. A sidewards glance. A mouth open with not words nor strength mustered. A shift back, a look around, a brief pause, a quick shout, a hand raised, a lustful stare, a heart pounding, a mind racing, a neck pinned, a shirt lifted, a voice hushed, a leg spread, a muscle tensed, an arm lifted, a knee pressed— "Hey. Maybe you two... shouldn't be doing this here." Help me. "Sorry." Don't just sit there, fucking help me. I sensed the arm around my neck and waist slacken and seized the opportunity to contort my body out of their grasp. I moved myself back against the opposite wall and averted my gaze. Uncomfortably quick. Unsociably firm. I could feel every pair of eyes in the room on me as I clasped the carpet on the floor. "Awwww. I wanted to do stuff with Shiki." "Just don't do it here." Words slipped past and sloshed around my mind in a haze, some from my lips and some not, though I was in no state to know from who. A pang of guilt washed over my heart; I hurt someone, somehow, again. "Sorry." Say something else, dammit. "Sorry." Fuck, worth a shot. We'd broken up months ago, them and I. I had let all my pent up emotions and struggles spill out over a wall of text; yet at the same time, I had said nothing to them at all. The wall of anxiety and panic I had worked myself through a few months prior was done in vain, only serving to make the next one thicker and stronger. I looked up. Oh god, why did I look up? I could feel their purulent petulant pouting pierce my chest. A deluge of emotions effused into my pleural cavity, stifling my breath as though their hand was still around my neck. "Sorry." I stood up and burst out the hab, head pounding much too hard to care for all the awkward stares coming my way. A gush of tears hit me as I ran down the street. Then a wall as I awkwardly stumbled around a corner to catch my breath. The floor beneath me lurched sideways as my periphery became a blur. The nodes in my heart twitched, making my myocardium tear my heart from my chest. The all-too-familiar ichor of death perfused my lungs. Darkness mottled my vision with bruises and splotches of blue. The next time my eyes opened, I found myself back on my bed. Nothing but the soft, matutinal glow throughout my room heralded the new day. I glanced at myself through my bathroom mirror before an ache in my chest wrested my gaze away. Stars. The path my tears had carved out running down my face showed me all I wanted to see. Guess it wasn't a dream, then. Shame. A heavy breath escaped my lips in a huff as I let my chair catch my fall. I sipped fresh water I didn't pour from a cup on my desk I hadn't taken out without thinking too much of it. Another sigh came out my chest, this time of my own volition. Checking my tablet for any new messages, I was greeted by my own empty stare, prompting me to put my tablet away. Fuckers. I hated going there. I hated seeing their stupid, repulsive face. None of them really wanted anything to do with me; something about my "vibe", apparently. We shared few things in common, which was apparently enough to let me sit at their dinner table. With them I shared even fewer still. I hated how every moment I had with them was for the sole purpose of serving as a glorified auto-fellation device. I hated how every conversation we had was plastered with pornography I didn't want to see and erotic roleplay I didn't want to have. I just wanted a normal fucking conversation. Yet a block of "aww"s and "uuuueeeeee"s shoved me back towards their dick every time I steered the conversation away from sex. Though I suppose it's my fault, really. It always is. I had been ravaged by my needs and desires for years, isolated from any semblance of a community. Throughout my childhood, I was raised by a society of puritans. Pampered with showers of strict rules and stern warnings that left me no room to explore. Everything outside was wrong; being anything but the model child I was meant to be was wrong. I was wrong. Everything was controlled; by my parents, by those in power, and by the state. Peace between all was brokered by an iron fist of solemn silence. A voice of dissent or a differing opinion could shatter such a thin veil of factitious harmony. Thus, an oppressive culture of conformity promulgated across my home planet. I used to believe in it all, as naive as that was. I truly believed that every rule and every custom was put in place for the sole purpose of benefitting society. I believed every state-sanctioned video about how "harmonious living" was important. I deluded myself that I was content in the sameness of it all. I never questioned anything. Not beyond the state-approved "critical discussions" we used to have about the most anodyne of topics. But I was never content. Deep down, I had always felt that there was more to me than society had prescribed. I had managed to find a handful of others who were different like me, hiding from public view. As we exchanged stories and experiences, I realised just how much more there was to life than the one I knew, just how many others there were that shared my experiences. When the Affini came and dismantled our "democratic" state, I was finally able to see the full breadth of the beautiful communities and accepting societies beyond the exosphere of my home planet. Every inhibition drilled into me gave way, like a wayward gush of water careening from a broken dam. I began to yearn for such a community, for a chance to indulge in every forbidden desire I once buried under years of pain. Yet, old habits die hard, and it seemed as though the culture the state had instilled in everyone had dug its roots deep. Though a degree of tolerance was enforced, truly expressing myself still seemed like a distant dream. I tried. My parents effectively disowned me the moment they found out about my refusal to accept the identity they had birthed for me. It was almost just as hard to find friends as before, if not harder, having barely any excuse to go out and meet anyone anymore. My only solace was the overnet, which the Affini had graciously bestowed upon us during their takeover. It fostered many fruitful friendships and many stories. I could see every salacious exchange between partners and friends of all configurations that would have had my tongue torn from my mouth. Every titillating squeeze of a breast, every tantalising kiss, every crack of a whip. It made me hungry. It drove me insane, knowing I could never do such things with anyone around me. It drove me to them. Hypocrite. I enjoyed my first moments with them, seemingly able to chat about almost anything while also being able to know them carnally. I wanted this. They seemed to listen when I poured my heart out about something I was interested in, and seemed to love doing everything that made me sexually content. Slowly, they changed. They waved every concern I had away with a facetious pout. They stopped listening to my discussions. They stopped caring about how I felt. But they were all I had. Because of my desirous reputation amongst our friend group, nobody thought twice about how they forced themselves onto me. They grew bolder every day, and I grew powerless to stop them. Weak. I tried to break things off, but it soon became clear that they never cared about our relationship status in the first place. For one reason or another, I found myself coming back. Where else was I supposed to go? I couldn't leave. There was no-one else around me that truly accepted me like they did. Even though I had been living in my own hab since my parents kicked me out, I still felt some obligation to stay in case anything happened to them. A remnant of the cultural tendrils still coiled around my heart. Enough sulking. I booted up my computer, hovering my fingers over the keys as my unfinished draft came to life on the screen. "A Non-Classical Modal Account of Theistic Knowability". Now reduced to a hobby, Terran research and academia in a post-scarcity world was far different from how it used to be. My life-long aspirations of working in philosophical academia quickly changed after the Affini takeover turned the idea of a professorial "job" into a thing of the past. Though, it's nice to finally be able to read all the articles I want without paying for them. Suddenly, a message from the overnet came through. <Aphrodeeziac> heyyy. i was thinking. why dont you move in with me ? </code></pre> </details>